Is this what it looks like when you make Christmas cookies with your daughter?
If you answered yes, we cannot be friends anymore.
I always have these lovely visions of how family bonding activities are going to pan out. We will turn on some soft Christmas music, Grace and I will roll out the sugar cookie dough and none will stick/crack/end up on the floor, the cookie cutters will be placed gingerly onto the dough while I share fond memories of Christmases from my childhood.
What happens to my visions? WHAT??? Why can't I have a Martha Stewart cookie experience?
Instead, flour is flying everywhere, the stupid dough keeps sticking/cracking/ending up on the floor, Grace is shoving cutters into the dough like she is trying to cut steel, and I am yelling at her to stop eating the dough and licking her fingers. Meanwhile, Nathan is laying on the floor screaming and thrashing because I will not let him eat the leftover Halloween candy he found in the cabinets. And since Grace insists on sticking every cookie cutter right into the center of the dough EVERY time, the whole experience takes approximately 18 hours.
Joy to the world!
Also, look at this witch and her pretend kids.
A cute little outfit, nicely styled hair, perfect make up.
And then. There are these moms.
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Have a Holly Humbug Christmas
I don't even know where to start with this one. I can't even believe I am exposing myself in this way, but my dignity was lost some time ago and frequently appears on milk cartons nationwide.
I cannot stop scrolling up and looking at my hair.
omg.
Anyway, I am sure that when we decorate those cookies tonight I will have on a lovely dress, heels, painted nails, etc. The kids will look like they are straight out of a gap ad, and the cookies will be too beautiful to eat.
At least that's my plan.
Which is probably part of my problem.
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6 comments:
Wow. Poor Grace. You are defective and are not providing her with the perfect Christmas.
Who raised you? Sheesh.
By the way, I wouldn't be too worried about your pulled back hair in that photo. Its not as bad as the camera angle that makes your arm look four times its size....
Meeerrrrrry Christmas!
Christie's Ma-OUCH!! That's brutal.
Christie- at least you have normal cookie baking clothes on. Why do you think I'm NEVER in our Holiday activity photos...because I usaully don't have make-up on, or I'm in my grunge-wear.
Oh well, Grace won't remember anything else except that you took the time to actually make the cookies with her.
Wait(Gasp) are those sprinkles on your shoulder! THAT would never happen to Martha. Why? because whe's a robot and has a trillion people out of shooting range that rush her the second her sprinkles fall off her cookies.
Here's to being real!
Dude. Hilarious. I don't even know what to say anymore. Love it. Trent and I made a simple gingerbread house and I literally had to sit on my hands to keep myself from decorating the roof the way it's supposed to look.
That is awesome. I actually thought that was you in the first picture of the woman with dark long hair. I really think you look cute with your headband in your hair. I have been meaning to get one of those softbands.
Grace probably loved the whole experience. Don't you hate when they think they have to plunge the cookie cutter into the dough, ruining the dough around it? Funny kids!!!
Great post. Great pics. I can almost see Nathan thrashing around behind you in the picture.
NO! There are not Mom's out there like that pic with everything perfect. Ha. I haven't even let my 9 year old in the kitchen because I would just rather do it my way and quickly. Lame, I know.
I love the pic of you. You crack my up! hahahaha. You should see me right now. PJ pants, big t-shirt and my glasses with yesterday's smeary makeup on:)
jamirodana - I am afraid that you are incorrect. I am perfect in every way, as Christie can attest to. It seems to be extremely difficult for her to live up to my standard. One can only attempt I suppose. It must be difficult for her...
Well, I must get going and clean the bathrooms! But first I must re-apply my lipstick - one must always look their best!
I think they should have a magazine with pictures like the one of you and Grace that are realistic. I think you should submit it to Rachel Ray or O magazine.
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