Let me begin by saying that I LOVED my wedding. It was very small, humble and totally us ... in other words on an extreme budget. My parents generously gifted us with the funds to plan the wedding, but we had no idea how ridiculously overpriced things are. Like, RIDICULOUS. One photographer told me that their packages "started" at five grand. We saw dresses for $3000, cakes for $1000, etc. But we made it work, with the help of caring and skilled friends. For example, my dearest friend Melissa graciously offered her services as DJ. Here she is spinning her magic:

The boom box was on loan from my roommate at the time, who, if I remember correctly, even installed fresh batteries for the big day. You can see how the whole thing came together with the talent of our friends and family.
The one thing, the ONE thing, EVERYONE said to fork out the cash for, was the photographer. Matt and I both have appreciation for nice pictures, so we understood this and accepted the fact that most of our budget would go toward getting stunning keepsakes from our special day. The photographers studio was adorn with gorgeous sample photos of couples sharing moments under a massive oak tree, near a swan filled pond, floating on puffy clouds and walking on water, etc. I naively assumed that we would come away with something remotely similar to the puffy cloud pictures, as the photographer briefly mentioned that one of his associates would taking the pictures. Not him. An associate.
About the associate. Now I am not a professional, so maybe it's just me, but I would think that a good wedding photographer should be almost like a phantom wedding guest. You shouldn't even know that they are there. They should blend into the background and subconsciously know when to snap away as you and your new spouse share special magical moments under oak trees.
Our photographer showed up at the wedding wearing the Joseph's technicolor dreamcoat. Seriously. She could not have looked more 80s, or stood out more if she tried. That was okay, though, because she was so sweet. It turned out, as she made a point of telling us several times, that she was a single mother, working hard to provide for her little girl. Maybe that thought clouded our judgement as she mentioned 429 times throughout the night that if we really liked our pictures, could we maybe write a short letter of recommendation? Of course! we thought. Anything to help this nice woman get a new wardrobe take care of her young child.
Sweet mother of pearl, if only we had known. If only. We. Had. Known.
Before I begin the portrait presentation, may I say that this would not be at all funny if Matt's aunt was not also snapping away that day, and if we did not get some great shots from her. If we didn't have those pictures with which to remember our wedding I would probably still be huddled in a dark corner, rocking, crying and whispering "why???" over and over.
Also, I need to add that ALL of the pictures from the, ahem, professional are total crap. It's not like we got a few bad pictures, hardy har har. The WHOLE album is laden with pictures that are off center, unflattering, eyes closed, poorly flashed, etc.
So, here are some of my favorites. First the C Lo.
Nevermind that I am staring into oblivion, it is a totally unnatural pose, and the lighting is horrid. Please, look at my butt. (I will probably never ever ever say that again.) My dress had these two panels that tied together in the back. In this shot, I am holding a panel awkwardly, with my arm blocking any space between, thereby creating the J LO butt. And just so you know, I am actually staring up at a couple on their balcony, holding margaritas, and shouting, "Hey! Congratulations!" That is how ghetto quaint and cozy our wedding was.
Here we have the actual ceremony.
15 comments:
The wedding was great - um, your "photographer" truly was not. But then again, look at all the laughs you have had with these photos!
Who else has:
A "bird dropping" ring photo in their album?
A magical grandma who grew to be larger than your mom for the special day!
A red curb? (SO UNIQUE!)
A family gathering photo spanning 4 generations where even if you had a magnifying glass you could not tell who was who!
And a photo of a father who looks like he should be playing in the NBA?
C'mon, I have seen many wedding albums, and none are as much fun as yours!
Thank goodness Gail took tons of great candid shots - those are the best anyway!
Christie, you need warning on your posts like "Read only if you wear waterproof mascara." Or "Warning:A good cry ahead" I am still mopping up the tears.
I think I just peed my pants....yup, I did!
You are too funny.
Those are ridiculous. I need to hear part 2 though. What did you do when you saw the photos. What did the photographer say?
Ohhh and I'll have to remember special word for getting your kids to listen.....HAHAHA!
First let me start this by commenting on the photo of Jeff and my hair. One that Jeff had some, and two holy hightlights. Let me remind you that the DJ's hair was totally in style back then.
Your wedding was one of the most beautiful weedings that I have ever been too. You did a great job planning it and keeping it simple and elegant.
I have been to plenty of weddings that had three times the budget and they weren't half as nice. (Side note: My sister went to a wedding at a bowling alley.)
Lastly, you never mentioned if you wrote the photographer a letter of recommendation. The suspense is killing me.
Hi Christie, you don't know me but my name is Mikelle - I found your blog through Alicia's. And she was right - your blog is so funny! You are such a good sport about your wedding photos. I would have died!
P.S. I love your header, that is so cute! And how did you change what it says at the bottom of the posts? "__ people confess to reading this" I love that. It's so original. I just might have to steal your idea. (That is, if you tell me how to change it!)
Thank you Christie! The instructions made perfect sense. Now I just have to get creative! Thanks again!
priceless...lmao
I *just about* peed my pants reading this... Thank you so much for sharing... Really, the beauty of any wedding photos is that they really create special memories, and yours are especially memorable, aren't they? lol
Loved reading this. You made my night!
I found you on ILP and just followed the link to your blog. I am sitting here just cracking up...your play-by-play description of your photos is truly hilarious...and sad. :( Thank goodness for that aunt of yours!
please please please go into stand up.
I saw your link in the post on ILP. It's great you can make light of these horrendous photos. I had a similar issue with my wedding. I still want to cry 9 years later. Mine were totally underexposed and I had the "Where's Waldo" group shots. Unfortunately, most of them were not salvageable. It was before digital cameras and photoshop. They were taken with medium format film. Luckily I was able to get my money back (all of it). We even had to get dressed up again and hire another photographer to take pics we could frame. At least I got to wear my dress twice... smh...
I just saw your photo's and Thank the Lord you have a good sense of humor. I would have flipped out. I too was on a budget. I made our food I bought a beautiful dress off of ebay for $100. My friends hubby who DJ's on the side did it for us for $100. The photographer I was so paranoid about. I found him on Craigslist he was new to the business and had done about 5 weddings with in a year. I was his 6th. His cost btw was $300 for the whole prep, wedding and reception. I didn't get all the photos I wanted but he was awesome and such a good sport he did blend in and I did get to meet him before hand and see his work. sometimes splurging on certain things does not work out like you saw.
It is a good thing you can laugh about this- I'm so sorry that you have no good wedding photos AND that you paid $1200 for this! What a perfect example for others to learn from!
Oh, MY WORD! I'm really, really impressed with your sense of humour about this! You look lovely, though, despite the bad photography!
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